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Can’t Afford a Nursing Home for Aging Parent? Try Plan G!

6 May

From a post on Facebook by Larry Cekander. I don’t know if he is the author of this, but giving him credit. Very clever!


“Medicare – Part G – Nursing Home Plan
Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what do you do? You opt for Medicare Part G.
The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That’s great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can’t afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any more income taxes!
Is this a great country or what? Now that you have solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week!
“IN GOD WE TRUST”

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California Governor Announces Frosted Mercury Flakes for Kids (satire)

4 May


(NaturalNews) In order to make sure the children of California become just as brain damaged as the state’s legislators, California Governor Jerry Brown has announced a plan to launch Frosted Mercury Flakes cereal that’s fortified with the same health-promoting metals used in vaccines.

The cereal consists primarily of sugar-coated mercury flakes that are stabilized with aluminum and preserved with formaldehyde — all the same ingredients still used in vaccines. It will be handed out for free to all California households. Households living in poverty or occupied by minorities will be given two boxes of the cereal.

“People who say Frosted Mercury Flakes is bad for human health are anti-science,” said Gov. Brown in a televised statement. “The science is clear: if mercury and aluminum are safe enough to inject into children, they’re also safe enough to eat for breakfast.”

What Governor Brown won’t say publicly, however, is that California’s political leadership is intentionally trying to recreate Idiocracy while producing a new generation of autistic workers who can run the state’s ever-expanding bureaucracy which consists primarily of mindless, repetitive tasks.

If children are allowed to grow up with fully-intact brains that function at a high level, they might question the idiocy of California’s political leadership. “Brain-damaged children are the bedrock of California’s political and economic future,” insisted Gov. Brown. “Remember, these are tomorrow’s voters! It is our duty to make sure they remain fully capable of limited thinking.”

Frosted Mercury Flakes is manufactured by General Pills and a rumor is circulating that it will soon be available on the shelves at Whole Foods, right next to the brown rice protein.

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/049573_Frosted_Mercury_Flakes_childrens_cereal_Governor_Brown.html#ixzz3ZBsjHeS7
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Yes the above is Satire….but sadly, based on truth….